By Santiago Productions...
The Wizard of Oz
List of Characters
-In order of appearance-
Dorothy-renamed Santiago played by Santiago
Toto-Renamed Pablo played by Pablo
Auntie-em-renamed uncle Frank played by Frank
Farm Hands-played by the three stooges
Witch of the East, in and out of dream-played by Tyler
Fortune teller-as himself
Munchkins-renamed Coquis played by frogs
Mayer of Coqui land-played by Corky
Witch of the west-played by Jessie S.
Scarecrow-played by Andrew
Tin man-played by Josh
Lion-played by Billy
Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh, My!-renamed Phil's and Nicks and Bryans played by themselves
Gate person-played by Greg
Wizard of Oz-renamed the Bruno of Oz played by Mr. Bruno
Witch of the west guards-played by Tyler duplicated a hundred times
Some where over the rainbow blue in Fiji was a small little farm where Santiago lived with Pablo Uncle Frank and the farm hands. One day Pablo returned home from one of his little wanderings to be grabbed by Tyler. "hey! Let go of my turtle!" Santiago yelled. "Never you little big person, your turtle bit me! I'm going to bring him to the sheriff to be shot! Ha ha!!" And off she went to bring Pablo to the sheriff to be shot. Uncle frank tried to tell him that it was the right thing to do. Later he found out that Pablo had escaped Tyler and had ran home. Santiago felt that he had to leave. He wandered down the road. He looked off in the distance as the clouds were darkening rapidly. He hurried along to find a fortune teller. "Why hello, son. What brings you so far in this dangerous weather?" he said. "Oh I'm running away!" "Here let me tell you your fortune. Now close your eyes and put your hands on the magic ball" As Santiago closed his eyes the fortune teller took out a picture of Uncle Frank from his backpack. "I see a man, he, he has a very long mustache and a fro." "Yes! Yes! that's my Uncle Frank!" "I also see that he is sad, and, he is holding a picture of you." "Oh, my gosh! He must be worried! I have to go home!" And so Santiago left to go back to his home. On his way back he saw a tornado coming. He ran even faster! When he reached the house he started yelling," Uncle Frank!!! Are you home!!! This isn't funny!!! Hello!!!" Nothing. "Where is everybody!?" But unfortunately for Santiago they were all in the storm shelter. He rushed into the house to find them. By now the wind was really moving fast. He rushed into his bedroom. He was looking around when, wham! The window broke and hit him in the head. When he woke up he was in the tornado and the whole house was spinning. He looked out the window and saw the wicked witch of the east flying by," He ha ha ha ha ha!!!" He stood and stared. Then he saw the grim reaper flying by," Any day now! Ha ha!! He stood and stared. Then he saw Michael Jackson flying by, "Heal the world!!!" He gasped as staggered away from the window and hid under the bed covers! "Not Him!!!" Then he had the feeling of hard ground on his feet as he the house hit the ground. He walked to the front door and looked out and stared. "Oh! Technicolor! Pablo, I don't think were in Fiji any more!" He saw a land full of color. It had funky looking trees and little houses and rolling hills of lush green plants. Then he saw Saque the witch of the north. She was very good. Santiago said "Who are you?" Saque replied "Squawk! Squawk! Saque! Saque!" then she turned to the trees and said "It's ok! It's ok! Everybody come out! Everybody come out!" Then hundreds of coqui frogs started appearing from behind the trees and houses . "They are Coquis! They are Coquis!" And then Santiago walked around dancing and celebrating with the different Coquis and the mayor: Corky. "We are the lollie pop kids! We are the lollie pop kids!" Just then the wicked witch of the west appeared out of no where and said "Oh, so you stole my sandals didn't you!" Santiago looked down and noticed that he was wearing the ruby sandals. The witch tried to touch them but she was zapped by Pablo. "Curses! You may be able to avoid me now but later I will get you! The only question is: Are you feeling lucky punks!!! I'll get you Santiago and your little turtle too!!!" With that she left and Santiago went around meeting more Coquis He told them about how he wanted to get home and they all agreed that he would have to go to the wizard. "Well how exactly do i get to the wizard?" "Follow the yellow brick road! Follow the yellow brick road! Follow follow follow follow follow the yellow brick road!!!" And so Santiago skipped down the yellow brick road with the frogs jumping behind him. Long after he left the town of Coqui he came to a fork in the road. He decided to pull it out and use it to eat. Then he came to a intersection in the road and couldn't decide on which way to go. Then from behind him he heard "That way." He turned around only to see a scarecrow pointing one way. He turned around to think again when he herd "That way." He turned around again and stared a the scarecrow. He was pointing in the other direction. He went over to the scarecrow and said "It looks like you need a brain!" "Nope! I need a life!!!" And then he went into a song, "If I only had a life. I'd have some friends to play with, and some girls to go and date with, if I only had a life!!!" "Well maybe you can come with me to see the wizard!" "Wow! the wizard" And so they skipped off down the road. Then they came to another woodsy area. They were walking through when Santiago saw a rabid monkey. "After it!" they chased after it only to see it escape. They then tried to pick apples of of the trees and through them at the monkey. The rabid apple trees said, "Yo! Wuz up! Why yo pickin my apples! Get away from our hood!" then they started throwing rabid apples at them! "Run away! Run away!" When they ran away they found a man of tinfoil. He muttered "Oil Can" "Scarecrow? I think he wants us to oil him!" And so they oiled him till he could move. They asked him how he got there and he said, "Well you see, I was butchering some cattle when it started to rain! how inconvenient!" Then they told him about how they needed homes and brains. He said "I need a heart, maybe I can come with you!" And then he went into a song, "If I only had a heart! I might not want to kill, everyone I see, if I only had a heart! I might not murder rabbits or even little deer if I only had a heart!" And so they walked into a forest. The tin man cautioned them "You know that Phils and Nicks and Bryans live in the forest!" Santiago was startled "Phils and Nicks and Brians, Oh, My!!" "Phils and Nicks and Brians, Oh, My!!" "Phils and Nicks and Brians, Oh, My!!" "Phils and Nicks and Brians, Oh, My!!" And just then a giant lion jumped out of no where and scared them all. "I'll fight anyone of ya!" He then chased Pablo around a tree only to be given the Vulcan death grip by the tin man! "Ok I'm sorry!" And then he went into a song, "If I only had some courage! I wouldn't pee in my pants, when I see a bird a'comin if I only had courage! I could touch a bunny rabbit, I could brake my scardey habit! If I only had some courage!!!" The wicked witch of the west in her castle said "Ha ha ha! There heading for a giant field of Poison ivy! I'll set the field on fire and the will itch to there death! Ba ha ha ha ha!" And so Santiago, Pablo, Tin man, Scarecrow, and Lion headed through the field of poison ivy. "Ah Ah my legs itch!" yelled Santiago. "Me too!" cried the scarecrow. Then to all of there surprise the field rose up in a fiery blaze as the entire field went on fire. The fire had en circled them and started coming towards them. They all started to itch all over there body. Then out of nowhere Saque went to the bathroom fire proof itch cream. They put it on and skipped through the fire into freedom. They finally got to Emerald city and walked up to the door. The tin man said "Maybe you should ring the bell?" "OK." So Santiago walked up to the door and rang the bell. A man popped out of a latch and said, "Hello! My names Greg! Narf! Poit! Egad! Can't you read, I can't, but the sign says to knock on the door. Ha ha!!" and with that he went back inside the building. "Well lets try knocking on the door!" said the tin man. Santiago walked up and knocked on the door. The man appeared again and said, "That'll be one large shake, a cheese burger and a large coke! All to go please! And by the way, go away!!!" And so he went back inside. "Well maybe we should take the door off its hinges!" Santiago walked up again and asked "Can you please let us in to see the wizard?" "Ok I'll let you in." And so they walked into the city where they got on a frog drawn carriage drove by frank. "Youse guse sa hea ta see da wizad? Ain't ya?" They all agreed and he said, "Well! That's a frog of a totally different color! Ha ha!" And so they rode off to see the wizard. When they got to see the wizard the lion complained, "I'm scared! What if he bites me! Wahh!" and with that the lion jumped through the glass hallway window! "Oh you baby!!!" said the tin man! So they walked down the long hall to the wizard. Then he appeared in front of them in the form of a hologram. "I am the great and powerful Bob!" "Sorry wrong room." So they walked next door to a even bigger hologram! "I am the great and powerful Bruno!!! Why have you chose to seek me?" "Well I came for a home, Lion came for courage, Tin man came for a heart, Scarecrow came for a life, and Pablo came to use the bathroom!" "I will grant you your wish only if you bring me, a shrubbery!!! No, wait, that's what the last people brought me. You shall bring me the broom of the wicked witch of the west's broom!!!" "Her broom!" "Do it!" And so they wobbled off uneasily to fetch the witch's broom. On there way to the wicked witches castle they had to walk through a haunted forest. The lion stated, "I don't like it!" And they kept walking. Meanwhile in the castle of the wicked witch of the west the witch was pondering, "I know! I'll send my army of Tyler monkeys to attack them. Ok monkeys I want you to bring me back Santiago and Pablo unharmed, you can do what you like with the rest but I want Santiago alive! Ha ha!!!" And so the monkeys flew to the haunted forest and attacked them. Santiago tried to run away but they caught him and flew him back. They also punched the stuffing out of the scarecrow opened the lid on the tin man and scared the lion. When Santiago and Pablo got to the wicked witch's house the wicked witch met him. "So we meet again Santiago! I am your father! Wait, no I'm not! Anyway you shall pay for not giving me the sandals so I am turning this hour glass so you can see when I shall return to kill you! Ba ha ha ha ha!!!" As if Santiago wasn't sad enough Pablo ran away! Back in the woods the tin man and the lion were putting the stuffing back into scarecrow. "Man they sure knocked the stuffing out of me!" They kept putting the stuffing back in when Pablo ran up! "Yip Yip" The scarecrow said, "I think he said that Santiago was being held in the wicked witch's castle and will be killed in one hour when the witch returns. He also says that we should get going right now!" "You really do need a life?" So they fallowed Pablo thought the mountains to the castle. When they got to the castle they noticed that it was swarming with guards. "How do we get inside?" "I don't know!" said the scare crow. "Of course you don't!" Then next to them they saw Sir Lancelot the brave. They had a plan. Tin man said, "Look! Up in that tower! A girl being forced to marry against her will!" "What! Never!!!" And so he charged right into the guards slicing them half. Tin man Lion Scarecrow and Pablo fallowed. He then ran through the dining hall and jumped up on the table and ran down it. Food splatter all over everybody. He jumped off the dining table and grabbed onto the chandelier. He swung across the room chopping the heads off of the monkeys. He then leaped from the chandelier and ran up the stairway to the tower. He bashed through the door and killed the guards. Santiago stood up and said, "Why, you've come to rescue me! You got my note! Ok, brave knight, I'm ready to swing to freedom!" "Well I didn't get a note." "Oh I get it! You don't want to rescue me!" And so the knight left. Then a moment later Tin man, Pablo, Lion And Scarecrow ran into the room and got Santiago. "Quickly, we must escape the hour glass has almost ran out!" And so they ran through the corridors until they got cornered on the bridge. There were cornered. Then when they had encircled Santiago the witch appeared. She lit the scarecrow on fire. Santiago acted quickly and picked up a nearby bucket filled with a liquid and threw it at the scarecrow. He missed and it hit the witch and the witch. The witch began to melt. "Must be acid!" While the witch was melting Santiago found some water and put the scarecrow out. The guards just stood and stared at the witch. "Man, we lose more masters that way!" And then they all rejoiced because they were freed from the witches spell. "Can we take this broom to the Bruno of Oz?" "Sure!" And so they went back to the almighty Bruno and showed him the broom. "We have brought you this broom oh mighty one!" "Very good! Now bring me another shrubbery!!! Oops wrong people. I am sorry but I can not give you your wishes!" "But you made a promise! We really need a home a brain some courage a heart and a bathroom!!!" "Come back some other time!!!" They were about to leave when Pablo could take it no more and he rushed to the nearest door hoping it was a bathroom. He opened a curtain and he saw a man!" "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!" Pablo said ok and took a piss in the corner. Santiago rushed over, "Why you mean, horrible man! Your not very powerful at all!" "Well yes I am not very powerful but I can grant your wishes!" So he gave Lion a badge of courage for defeating the witch, Tin man a heart badge, Scarecrow unfortunately couldn't be helped and Pablo got a turtle sized porta-potty to carry around. As for Santiago he said, "Well I can't help you very much! But you can try taping your sandals together ten times and saying home stinks! " So Santiago went tapped his sandals together and said, "Home stinks! Home stinks! Home stinks! Home stinks!" When he woke up he was looking into the eyes of Uncle Frank and the farm hands. "We were so worried about you!" "I had a marvelous dream and you were there and you and all of you! I'm just so glad I'm home!"