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The Santiago Times - September, 2001

Important New Update: 

 

 

Field Report:

Disaster has struck! A Fijian Naval patrol, made up of three cruisers, was attacked off the coast of Hoorn yesterday. The aggressor was identified as four Samoan gunships. Normally, in this fight, the samoan cannons fail to penetrate the supreme aluminum metalloids of the Fijian ships. But this was different. The first Tylerian volley into the Santiago ships crushed and melted the aluminum foil! All four Santiago ships were destroyed, with only minor damage done to the Tylerian vessels. Santagoistic scientists are amazed at the quick destruction of the boats, and have begun investigating the incident, before Tyler gets too many of these special cannons. Some believe that recent off-shore mining programs set up by Tyler may have something to do with it, they are also investigating the possibility of Copper Chloride being used.

This message brought to you by the people of the Fijian Army. Join Now!

Extra! Extra!

Santiago invited the famed Bee Gees to Fiji.  After much work in the Santiago high-tech sound lab we have been able to distinguish what they are saying in Stayin' Alive.  Here it is:

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around
since I was born.
And now it's all right. It's OK.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
the New York Times' effect on man.

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

Well now, I get low and I get high,
and if I can't get either, I really try.
Got the wings of heaven on my shoes.
I'm a dancin' man and I just can't lose.
You know it's all right. It's OK.
I'll live to see another day.
We can try to understand
the New York Times' effect on man.

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah.
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah. Stayin' alive.

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm,
I've been kicked around since I was born.
And now it's all right. It's OK.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
the New York Times' effect on man.

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah.
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me, yeah.
I'm stayin' alive.

The BeeGees preformed with jack at the discotech and decided to stay in Fiji, hey who wouldn't?