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Star Wars

Speak Fijian
The Crew
Macchu Picchu
Santiago Times
Middle School
Hidden Dragon
The Matrix
Star Wars
Wizard of Oz
James Bond
Movie Credits

If we were going to make fun of movies you know that we had to make a story about starwars too.

List of Characters

Luke Skywalker-Santiago



Princess Leia- Corkey

Darth Vader-Josh


Grand Moft Tarkin-Josh

Person Darth Vader chokes-Bryan


Uncle Owen and Aunt Veroo-Uncle Frank and Auntie Em

Storm Troopers-Tylers

Han Solo-Corkey

Chunkbaca or Chunkey-Billy



Admiral Ackbar-Corkey



A long time ago in a Island far far away...

Princess Cork was fleeing to her home planet of alderan to show the disk that had the deaf star's only weakness.  On her trip her starship was intercepted by an Imperial star dementer. 

    Aboard the starship R2D2 and C3P0 were walking around feeling worried that they were going to be captured.  "Did you hear that?   They just shut down the main reactor!  We'll all be demented for sure!"   And so they wobbled off into a safe area.  All the rebel frogs aboard the ship lined up to prepare for the Imperials to enter the ship.  They heard a loud clanking around them as they landed in the docking bay.  Then the door started to smoke and before they knew it Imperial Tyler's were barging into the ship shooting at frogs.   Eventually the Tyler's frightened the frogs with there horrible hair do's and the frogs jumped out the window.  Then Darth Vampire entered the ship, "Search the ship!  I want those plans recovered!!!"  Mean while C3P0 was looking for R2D2 when he found him in a restricted part of the ship.  "What are you doing here?  What secret mission?  What are  you talking about?  Get in the escape pod?  I'm not getting in there!  Oh, well.  I'm going to be demented anyway!"  And so they got into the pod and plummeted toward the near planet of Tatto.  Mean while back on the  starship they had found the princess and began to question her.  "Where are the plans!  Several transmissions were made to this ship and I want to know what happened to them!!!  Take her away!"  And so they brought her back onto the star dementer.  When R2D2 and C3P0 landed on Tatto.   When they hit they got out and wandered off in different directions.   "What makes you think there's life over there?  What?  Don't talk like that to me you unconfident mini-fridge!  You herd me!  A mini-fridge!!!"  And so they wandered of in there separate directions.   R2D2 soon came to a rocky incline.  As he wandered down the slope he noticed several eyes moving in the shadows.  He stopped.  Nothing.  He continued on only to be attacked by Jawas!  They took him aboard the Jawa-mobile and drove across the desert.  Meanwhile C3P0 was still wandering through the desert when he came to a giant moving structure.  "Over here!  Help!"  And so the Jawas picked him up.  Inside the Jawa-mobile R2D2 found C3P0 and they started to think about what would happen.  Later the Jawas had lined up the robots for sale.   Luke ran to the sale away from his aunt.  "Make sure if Uncle frank buys a translator that it speaks Chinese!"  And so frank ran to the sale.  As soon as he saw the line-up of robots he said, "Ooh!  Mini-fridge!  Get it!   Get it!  Get it!"  And so they bought the mini-fridge and C3P0.   "Now Santiago, take these robots down to the tool shed and fix them up."   "Ah, man.  I was just going to yoshi station to pick up some power saws!"  "You can play with your friends later!"  So Luke went to the tool shed to fix the robots up.  "I am Andrew human cyborg rela-"  "Shut up!"  And Luke walked over to R2D2.  Boy,   this mini fridge isn't in that good of a condition.  And when he went to open it a hologram appeared.  There was a lady saying, "Testing 123 Testing 123is this thing on?  Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, your my only hope!"  "What was that!"  " What do you mean nothing!" said C3P0.  "Now play back the message!"  R2D2 said that it was a restricted message for Obi-Wan Kenobi.  "Oh, well!"  Luke gave up.  He released the restraining bolt from the mini-fridge and asked him to play back the message.   R2D2 still didn't play the message and Luke walked away.  Later in the night Luke came back to find C3P0 hiding.   "Please don't dement me!!!  I told him that it's no place for a mini-fridge but he didn't care!  He ran to the dune sea!!!"  "Oh, no!   That mini-fridge is going to cost me a lot of trouble!!"  "Should we go aft-"  "Shut up!  It's to dangerous!  We'll have to wait till morning."  In the morning they both got into the frog shaver and sped away.   "Mini-fridge at 5 o'clock!"  "Sir?  What shell we do till th-"  "Shut up!"  When they rode up along side him they said, "Well where do you think your going?"  "Sir?  He says that there are creatures appro-"  "Shut up!"  Just then Luke was attacked by the Sand people.  "Oink!  Oink!!  Oink!!!"  After they demented Luke they somehow got scared away.  Then R2D2 saw Ben-Kenobi walking along, "One shiny pebble!  Two shiny pebble!  Three shiny pebble!  Oh!   Hello there!  Don't worry he'll be fine!"  Then he went to work on Luke to undement him.  "Oops!  Oh I can tape that back together!   What's this?  Oh, well I'll through it out"  Then Luke woke up, "I'm not demented!!!"  "It was a close call,  the sand people attacked you and I nursed you back to health.  Oh, by the way I found this large object lodged between your scull."  Luke fainted.  When he woke up he was in the hut of Ben-Kenobi.  "Luke let me show you your fathers light push-pop"  Luke tried it out.  "Comes in six different flavors!" "Ben, this robot was looking for an Obi wan-Kenobi do you know who he's talking about?"  "Of course!  He's my imaginary friend!  He's right here!"  He points to thin air, "Duh!  Now what do you want to tell him?"  Then R2D2 displayed the message.  "Testing 123 Testing 123is this thing on?  Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, your my only hope!  The rebellion has captured a copy of the death stars plans.  I have stored the plans inside this garbage can.  If you can deliver them to areuon they can analyze the plans and find a weakness."  "Boy!  Obi says that you'll have to learn the ways of the force if you want to go with him to aruon.  Are you on what?  Well I'm on-"  Several hours later.  "Ok I'll talk to my uncle!"   Back on the star dementer an Imperial meeting was taking place.  Grand moft tarkin said, "This fighting is pointless!  Even if the rebels have found the plans they will not be able to find a weakness!"  "Do not be to proud of this technological terror you've constructed!"  "I think we should!   And what about you lord vampire!  Your sad devotion to that ancient religion hasn't helped you get a microwave!  Or a toaster or a garb-"  "I find your lack of I.Q. disturbing."  "Vader!  Release him!"  Back on tattoine Luke and Obi found a Jawa-mobile that had been attacked  "Oooh!   This not be done by sand people!  Storm troopers!"  Then Luke caught on, "If they followed the Jawas here that means that they led them...home!  And so Luke sped home on his frog-shaver.  "Uncle frank!  Are you home!   C'mon!! This isn't funny!"  Then he saw them barbequed on the ground.   He went back to Obi.  "I want to come with you to alderan."   And so off they sped to Most-icey space-port.  "The most-icey space-port, you will never find the more wretched hive of microwaves and toasters!"  When they sped in to the city.   They decided to go into the Cantina to see if they could find a pilot to areuon.   When they went in the bartender said, "We don't serve droids here!  As for your washer machine, he's welcome here any time!"  So Luke and Obi walked around and bought a drink.  An alien said, "My friend doesn't like you!  I don't like you either!  You just watch yourself!"  "Ok ill do that!"   "You'll be dead!"  Then when the alien went to attack Luke Obi took out his light push-pop and chopped of the aliens arm.  Luke was fascinated.  Some time later they met up with Chunky and Han Solo.  Han said, "So I hear that you need a flight to the Areuon system."  "Yes if the ship has a stereo system."  "Sure does!  What's the cargo?"  "Only me, the boy, a droid, and a toaster."  "What toaster?  Oh and you left out my minifridge."  "And you have to count that garbage can over there."   "What about princess corks garbage can?"  "What-ever, you'll find the ship ready to depart at docking bay 95."  Luke and Obi left the Catina to go sell the land speeder to pay for the ride.  "That's ok, I'm never coming back to this planet.  Back in the Cantina Han was about to walk of when he got caught by Greedo.  "So solo"  In another language,  "We meet again!   Maybe if you give me the money now I can let you go!"  "Over my dead body."  "That's  the idea!"  Then Han shot greedo.  Han walked out of the Cantina and walked to the docking area.  When he got there Java the Hut was waiting for him.  "Ah Solo!  You still owe me my coffee money!"  "This time I have the money!"  "Solo!  Please I cant run business like this!"  Then Java left and left Han to prepare his ship for take-off.  Then Luke and Obi walked into the docking area.  "Oooh!   BIG mini-fridge!"  They all were getting into the ship when several storm troopers that had followed them showed up at the door and started blasting at them.   Han reacted quickly and shot at the bridge above the troopers.  Debris fell onto them as Han leaped into the ship and blasted off.  When they were deep in space there were several star dementers chasing after them.  "They're gaining!"   "Don't worry.  I know a few maneuvers before we jump to hyperspace!"  "Why aren't we moving!  Would it help if I got out and pushed?"  "Sir, maybe you should incr-"  "Shut up!"   Then they jumped into outer space.  Back on the deaf star they tortured princess cork.  "Where are the rebel Microwaves!  Tell us!  We have ways to make you speak!"  "I'll never tell you!"  To find another way to make her talk they decided to blow up Areuon.  And so they blew up Areuon and that was bad.  She lied to them about the rebel base and the found out.  And they found out and that was bad.  They had her scheduled to be terminated immediately.   When the Millennium Falcon came was in hyperspace Luke was practicing a Jedi technique.  Obi said, "Now feel the force, flowing through you!"   "I, I can feel it!  Its circulating my heart, touching my brain, running down my pant leg!  Wait a minute?!"  Then when they came out of hyper space they were immediately thrown into a heavy meteor shower.  "We've come out into hyper space into some unmapped meteor shower!  Plus there's no Areuon!!"  "What do you mean no Areuon?"  "It's been destroyed by the emperor!"  Later they were flying in space when a small ty fighter passed by them.  "Whoa!  Where did that come from!"  "Quick jam its radar!"  They followed the ship until it came to a gigantic space station.  "That's no moon.  That's a space station!"  "Turn the ship around."  "I can't!   Were caught in the tractor beam.  I'm going to have to shut down!"   When the ship entered the deaf star many lines of storm troopers lined up to guard it.  When the imperials searched the ship and found nothing.  "Did you find the plans commander?"  "No sir.  According to the log book they abandoned ship right after takeoff."  "Get a scanning crew down here!"   "When Luke felt that the troopers had left the ship they al leaped out of Han's smuggling compartments.  "Boy!  that was a tight squeeze!"   Later when the scanning crew jumped aboard they attacked them and put on there uniforms.  Luke walked out of the ship.  There was no one around.  He saw the huge docking bay and..."HELLO!" Hello Hello Hello.  "ECHO!"   Echo Echo Echo.  "WOOF!"  Woof Woof Woof.  After enjoying himself they snuck around to a control room.  They waited.  When a storm trooper opened the door they were startled to see Chunky.  They reached for their blasters but Han was quicker.  They quickly walked in.  Obi said, "I'm going to find that tractor beam power source!  Wait here for me.  Ok I love you ba bye!"   And he left.  Han and Luke were in there now.  Soon R2D2 found out that princess Cork was on board.  "We need to save her!"  "No!"   "Yes!"  And so Han finally agreed to come.  Luke told C3P0 to scan the planns for any traps.  After they left, with a push of a button C3P0 was instantly playing space invaders.  Luke and Han were were walking down the hallways pretending to have Chunky as a prisoner.  When they got to the Prison area the guards said, "Where are you taking that thing?"  "Um, 4?" Then the guards started shooting at them but Chunky and Han were to quick again and shot them.   Han went shooting all of the security cameras while Luke went trying to find the princess.  He finally found her.  "No I did not order a pizza!"   "No no no!  I'm here to rescue you!!  I'm here with Obi wan-Kenobi!"  "Obi wan-Kenobi!  Lets go!"  And so they were about to leave when storm  troopers cut off there only escape route.  They were all forced to jump into the garbage shoot.  When they got into the garbage shoot the first thing they decided to do was to shoot at the door.  When they shot the door the laser blast ricocheted of the walls many times.  "Racquet ball anyone?"   Later Luke was walking around still in the garbage shoot he was sucked under by some creature.  "Luke Luke!"  They desperately tried to search for him but they couldn't find him.  Then there was a loud clang as the garbage shoot doors started to close.  Luke suddenly popped up from the water.  "It released me when it herd the clanging!"  Then they all were trying to brace the walls when Luke remembered the microphone that he had given to C3P0 to talk to him, "C3P0!   Where are you?!"  Back in the control room storm troopers barged in.   C3P0 and R2D2 came out.  They said, "They're mad men!  If you hurry you might catch them in the construction area!"  And off the storm troopers went.  C3P0 and R2D2 went down to the hanger and plugged into a wall socked for info.   Then did C3P0 hear Luke's cry for help.  "I'm terrib-"   "Shut up and shut down all the garbage mashers!"  C3P0 told R2D2 to shut down all the garbage mashers.  "Hurry!"  C3P0 told R2D2 to hurry.   They were all about to get squished when R2D2 shutdown the garbage masher.   After they opened the door they were walking down the hall way to the ship when they ran into a squad of storm troopers.  The storm troopers were about to blast them when Han and Chunkey ran after them screaming.  "They've got a lot of courage!"  Obi had walked to the reactor and started to shut it down.  Then some two troopers walked in.  Before they could see him Obi made them think that the other one farted.  "Ew!  You farted!"  "No I didn't you did!"  While they were quarreling Obi made his escape  Luke and Princess Cork tried to find another way to get to the Ship.  They were suddenly running away from another squad of storm troopers.  Then they suddenly stopped dead in there tracks on the edge of a giant cliff.   The bridge wasn't working.  Luke quickly closed the door.  They stood standing on the ledge trying to figure a way across.   Back with Han.  Han and Chunky kept running until they ran into a docking bay with hundreds of storm troopers.  Han ran in screaming and blasting.  Then he saw all the faces staring at him.  "Uh, I was looking for the bathroom?"   A few seconds later he found himself running down the halls again being chased.   he was going to run through a door way.  They storm troopers tried to close the door but Han got through.  The storm troopers had to wait for the door to re-open and when it opened Han and Chunky were far away.  Back with Luke and Cork.   They finally found out that they could swing across.  When they got to the other side they walked until they came to the docking bay.  They met up with Han and Chunky.  "How do we get to the ship?"  They said seeing the troopers guarding it.  Just then they saw Obi wan and Darth Vampire fighting.  "You can't win Darth.  Strike me down and I will be more powerful than you can ever imagine."  "Obi, the circle is now complete  when you were training me I was but a learner now I am the master!"  "Only a master of evil darth."  And so they went fighting with there push pops.  The storm troopers rushed to darth vampires aid.  Luke, Cork, and Han rushed to the ship with the robots.  Luke stayed outside.  Obi  saw that Luke was safe and was hit with darth Vader by his push pop.  Obi instantly turned into candy.    "No!"  Then Luke started blasting at the storm troopers.   Luke heard Obi's voice in his mind.  "Run Luke run!"  And so Luke jumped into the ship just before it jumped into outer space.  They went immediately to the rebel planet.  "They're tracking us you know."   "Not this ship sister!"  Little did Han know but the Imperials were tracking them!  When they got to the rebel planet they Immediately started to make plans to destroy the deaf star.  They analyzed the plans and found out that they could shoot a small part of the station and make it blow up.  All the rebel frogs manned the ships.  Before take-off Han said good by to Luke, "Good bye." Luke said, "Your leaving?   So money is all you care about!"  And so Han left.  Luke manned his ship with R2D2 in the back.  All the other pilots were jealous that Luke got to bring a mini-fridge.  They all blasted into space.  "Ok team."  The red leader boldly said, "Our mission, to go where man has never gone before, to fearlessly explore the unkno-.  Sorry wrong crew.  All wings report in."   They all reported in.  "Ok all wings fold to attack position."   All the wings folded into attack position.  "Go get it boy!  Come on!  Go get it!"  And all the wings blasted in towards the deaf star.   Inside the deaf star the deaf star was going to blow up the rebel planet.  It was a sever minute wait till it was in range.  They were immediately attacked by hundreds of Ty fighters.  Because of lack of communication between the Ty fighters they crashed into each other and lessened there numbers!  The rebels had a chance.  Luke made his run towards the detonation spot.  All the other X-wings before him were getting destroyed.  Finally he was the last pilot.  He was coming up to the shooting point when darth vampire appeared behind him.  Suddenly Han appeared out of nowhere and shot darth vampire making him fly into space.  "Ok kid, lets blow this thing and be happy!"  Luke was about to shoot when he herd Obi's voice again, "I am the ghost of Christmas present!  Oops, sorry.   What I meant to say is use the force Luke!"  "But I don't have a change of pants!"  "Use it!"  So Luke turned off his computer closed his eyes and shot.  The shot hit the target.  Luke flew away as the Deaf star blew into a million pieces.  Back on the rebel planet they all rejoiced and had a big ceremony in witch Luke and Han received metals for their bravery.