Santiago Productions Presents...
The Latin-American Tour
All characters are as themselves
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away
. oops, wrong
story. What I
Santiago, his faithful turtle Pablo, and his best friend Jack
decided to go on the tour of a lifetime, visiting every major attraction in Latin-America.
As their plane touched down in Buenos Aires, one of the stewardesses informed Santiago
that his tour guide was going to be the infamous Corky Beebart! Corky was well known in
these parts, time was, people said Corky used to attack frogs on the Amazon Basin!
Santiago was well aware of his tour guides past, but tried to remain optimistic about
their tour. However, no matter where they went, Corky was all ways so, well, "frog
crazy"! The first stop on the tour was in Uruguay. Unfortunately, that part of the
tour was cut a little short due to Corky's pronunciation of Uruguay. He happened to say,
"You are gay" while mentioning the hotel of choice for the boys to stay in.
Pablo viciously attacked him telling him that he had a girlfriend named Pablina. However,
prior to the attack of Corky, they visited the world famous
Uruguay Zoo! They had a
great time looking at
The two walked back to camp. Me and Saque will, uh- go do some stuff, bye! The two walked off. Soon they came to a cave. Pablo did you eat enough beans? Yeah, yeah, lets get this done with. They entered the cove. There sitting in the corner smoking cigarettes and drinking beer were four parrots. Pablo looked at them "Remember me? I'm the son of Pabloqui and Pabloquai, you murdered my parents!" "The parrots stood up, and paid attention to what he had to say. "So, the young Pablo finally returns, to face the murderers, eh?" "Yes, yes I have Saquosti, and let me warn you, when I left El Yunquque, I was nothing more than a weakling, but now, after living in a nuclear reactor for 2 years, and pumping some serious iron, I am ready to take you guys on. Saque, you ready?" "Ready as ever, Pab." "GO!" Screamed Pablo. Saque ran out of the cave. The four parrots got up preparing to attack Pablo, but then, all of a sudden, Pablo turned around! The parrots thought he was going to run away, but Pablo had other ideas. He let out a long, satisfying fart, the parrots broke down laughing! But then, all of a sudden, an ICMB came right out of Pablo's butt! That's right! Right out his rear! The parrots exploded! Pablo was thrown out of the cave, right next to Saque. "Man, that was so funny!" squealed Pablo. "Yeah, they're dead!" Lets go back to camp. When they returned to camp, Saque decided to help out. "So, are you guys lost or something." asked Saque. "Yeah, our guide was captured by frogs in the Amazon basin, so we made a boat out of reeds and floated here." "Right, well, how about I finish your vacation!" "Great!" said Santiago. Saque then flew Jack, Pablo, Joaquin, and Santiago back to South America. "So, where shall we begin. How about Peru?!" "What is in Peru?" asked Jack. "Oh, you'll find out." yelled Saque.
"Here, it is. MACCHU PICCHU!! Macchu Piccu is a very majestic city. It is located in the Andes Mountain Range. "Boring!" said Joaquin. "Gee, its a long way dow-" Jack had begun to say before he slipped off the mountain. "Jack! Are you okay?" yelled Santiago. "I grabbed on to a rock, so I'm not dead, yet!" "Okay, don't go anywhere!" "I'm staying right here." said Jack. "Okay, guys what do we do, I need suggestions." said Santiago. "Well," began Pablo, "If the man doesn't die, I mean, he was sucked into a Seadoo water engine and then thrown over 1000 ft into the air, don't you think he could just fall?" "Just fall? Sure good idea!" "Jack!?" "Yeah! I'm here!" "Jack, we want you to just fall." "What! What are you smoking? I'm not falling." "Listen Jack, if you can survive being sucked into a Seadoo, we think you can survive this." "Good point, all right, I'm falling!" And so he fell, and he fell and he fell, hitting every single rock on his way down. "JACK!! Are you okay?" "Yeah, just fin-" and with that Jack feinted. "I think he is okay!"
Well, the boys left Macchu Piccu and continued traveling down the Andes until they come to the city of Santiago. Meanwhile, in the harbor at Santiago, in an oil tanker... Corky was being held hostage by hundreds and millions of frogs who occupied the oil tanker. "Well, Cork, you leave us no choice, now we will kill you!" "Why, I don't want to die!! Please don't kill me!" "What do you say boys should we spare him?" "NO!" "Well Cork, you heard them, they wanted us to kill you, and we did it very Democratically." "No you didn't!" "Yeah, but who cares!?"
Back with Santiago... "You know if we want to take a quick route back to Easter Island and then Fiji, we can stow away on that oil tanker, its headed for Indonesia. "Great! Lets go!" The boys entered the oil tanker, and walked into a room in the sleeping compartment. And there, they saw, in the corner, Cork tied up and beaten, and then in the other corner, they saw frogs, and lots of them, and on of them with a mace. "Cork! You're alive!" "Yeah, well not for long!" "Oh, yeah. Mr. frog! Stop what you're doing!" "Why should I?" "Well, you don't really want to kill Cork!" "Uh- yes I do." "Well, just don't! Please!" "Oh, I don't know why I am so nice." The guys went over and untied Cork. "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm okay." "OH NO YOU'RE NOT!!" screamed a frog from the corner of the room. "HUH! He has a lighter, and there is oil! I don't want to die!" screamed Joaquin. "Well, I don't have anything to worry about." said Jack. "Oh shut up!" said Pablo. "Sorry." "I'll throw it, I will!" "No Mr. Froggy, don't do it!" "TOO LATE!" yelled a frog. "RUN!!" BOOM!!!!! The tanker exploded and Santiago, Pablo, Jack, Joaquin, Saque, Corky, and five million frogs flew towards Fiji. As they passed over Easter Island, Saque decided that a trip from the air is better than no trip so he yelled to everyone, "Down there is Easter Island, it is one of the big mysteries of the world because of the giant statues!" Unfortunately, Saque's history lesson was drowned out by everyone's screams. "AHHHHH! I don't want to die!!!" screamed Pablo. Well, no one died, they landed in Fiji. "Whew, that was one hell of a ride!" yelled Santiago! "Right Jack!?" "Jack?" "Um, I think that is him." "Where?" "Over on the cactus."
And so ends Santiago's Latin American Tour. The frogs stayed in Fiji, and soon became good friends with Corky. Nowadays, the frogs make up more than 70% of Santiago's military. Jack was immediately rushed to a hospital where he was fixed up. Duh, as if he would die!!
Note: Frog's say Coqui because millions of years ago Corky attacked the frog's ancestors, the frogs wanted revenge on him and they needed the younger people to defeat Corky, and they didn't want anyone to forget, so the frogs keep on repeating Coqui (they can't pronounce their Rs), so as to warn other frog's of Corky's wrong doing. It sounds like ribbit to the untrained ear but listen carefully! Now, that would basically make this story completely worthless since we don't tell you why they say Coqui in the story, only in this ending note. But hey, who cares!!